Understanding Projection: Signs we may be projecting on our partner

Projection is a psychological phenomenon where we end up projecting our thoughts, feelings and attributes on the partner in a relationship.

This is an unhealthy coping mechanism and can harm the health of the relationship drastically. “Is your relationship feeling strained? It might be due to something called projection. Yes, I understand that it seems your partner seems to get things wrong all the time or they don’t seem to know the right things to do etc., but hey! Maybe they have so much that they are doing that we are not seeing, maybe we are just reacting to their actions because it reminds us of ourselves,” wrote Relationship Coach Benjamin Ekorhi.

Benjamin further noted down a few signs that denote that we may be projecting on the partner:

Finding faults; We often feel that the partner is wrong. We constantly try to find faults in their behavior and their quality of work.

Accuse of intentions: Even after continuous denial from the partner, we often feel that they have feelings or intentions that are unhealthy for us.

Inappropriate reactions: When the partner does something for us, the reaction we give to their actions is hurtful and inappropriate.

Focus on their shortcomings: We are always in denial about our own flaws but try to focus on their shortcomings and bring them up as much as we can.

Here are a few tips to heal from projection:

Self-reflection: Looking inwards and finding out the root cause of certain emotions and addressing them helps in finding more clarity within ourselves.

Active listening: When we practice active listening, we can try to understand the emotions of the partner and understand them better.

Open communication: Having clear communications and discussing projections can help the relationship.

Build empathy: Compassion and empathy for ourselves and the partner are important ingredients of a healthy relationship.