Is your partner high maintenance? 6 questions to ask yourself

Imagine you and your loved one walking hand in hand along the boulevard of love, enjoying the feeling of being in a romantic comedy montage.

Everything seems ideal, the sun is shining and laughter permeates the atmosphere. But soon you begin to see tiny cracks in the facade – moments when the magic of your relationship is overshadowed by your partner’s need for affirmation, attention or perfection. Welcome to the world of high-maintenance relationships.

A high-maintenance relationship is one in which the other person holds you accountable for numerous aspects of their life that are under their control. Couples in a relationship, regardless of gender or personality type, may find it difficult to live together. An example of this could be having a demanding partner with unrealistic expectations.

Six Questions to Determine if Your Partner is High Maintenance
Clinton Power, relationship counsellor and marriage therapist shared in his recent Instagram post six thought-provoking questions designed to help you assess whether your partner might be considered high maintenance.

Are they really demanding or are they just asking for your understanding?
When your partner seeks understanding and empathy, they’re not being demanding. They’re hoping for a safe space where they can express themselves and feel genuinely seen and heard. It’s a fundamental part of any healthy relationship.

Are their expectations too high or are they just expecting basic respect?
Respecting each other’s boundaries, time, and emotions is about basic decency, not high expectations. It’s the bedrock of a respectful and nurturing relationship.

Are they complaining or are they communicating valid concerns?
Healthy communication is different from incessant complaining. If your partner is expressing concerns or discussing issues, they’re aiming for a dialogue that can lead to solutions and growth.

Are they being difficult or are they just setting healthy boundaries?
Setting boundaries is about creating a respectful and safe environment in the relationship. It’s not about erecting barriers or being difficult. It’s a way to communicate what’s acceptable and what isn’t, promoting mutual respect.

Are they needy or are they a human with needs?
Voicing one’s needs isn’t being needy; it’s being clear on what matters. It’s about working together to meet each other’s needs, an essential aspect of maintaining a healthy relationship.

Are they actually self-centered or do they simply have self-respect?
Having self-respect and valuing oneself isn’t self-centeredness. It’s about acknowledging one’s worth and expecting the same respect from the partner, which forms the basis for mutual respect and love in the relationship.