In a relationship, people with completely opposite attachment styles can also exist.
Avoidant, anxious, disorganised and secure attachment styles are the four types of attachment styles that people show in any kind of a relationship. However, understanding the attachment style of a person and then finding ways to involve them in the relationship without triggering them demands a lot of compromises, understanding and effort from both ends. Therapist Alex Bishop addressed the signs of disorganised attachment style in a relationship and noted down a few signs that can help us in understanding.
Mixed messages: Disorganised attachment style, also referred to as fearful-avoidant attachment style is a pattern when people are confused if they should be vulnerable or should pull away. Hence, they end up sending mixed messages to their partner, getting them confused.
Fear of intimacy: The fear of intimacy and closeness can stop them from showing signs of intimacy. They have a huge fear of being vulnerable to others.
Difficulty trusting others: This often stems from past experiences where they have been betrayed – this further leads to difficulty in trusting their partner and the inability to build a healthy relationship.
Chaotic relationship patterns: Chaotic and unpredictable patterns form the basis of the relationship. People with disorganised attachment style may exhibit extreme unpredictable behavior in the relationship.
Fear of abandonment: They also have extreme fear of abandonment which often makes them exhibit clingy or needy behavior with their partners. Sometimes, fear can also make them detach completely from the relationship.
Difficulty regulating emotions: They have difficulty in regulating their own emotions. Anger, irritation and rapid mood swings are part of their regular behavior.
Disrupted communication: They do not have consistency when it comes to communication. They may speak to their partner continuously for a few days and then detach completely for the next few days.